Sundays

Sundays are always a contemplative day for me.

My routine has been regular in the past months. Sending my folks to the temple, going for brunch alone and spending time in the office or training in the gym in the afternoon.

Independence is the word associated with me rather lately as I learn to manage life without "her".

I may not be necessarily happy neither am I depressed. I am very much at peace with myself.

Some running events I am taking part in the months ahead :

1) 28th August 2011 - Adidas King of The Road, 16.8km
2) 4th September 2011 - Army Half-marathon, 21km
3) 30th October 2011 - Newton Run, 30km
4) 4th December 2011 - Standard Chartered Marathon 21km
5) 18th December 2011 - MR25 Ultra-marathon, minimum distance to be covered 52.5km

" I learn alot about r/s from you. I start to question myself if staying committed is the right thing to do. Maybe we are just not compatible.

Still, my love for you is very strong and there hasn't been a day do I not think about you. Life has progress such that I learn to live without you.

But you left when I needed you the most in my life....."

Bits & Pieces Of My Life

Slash my weight of up to 6kg. Slash my 21km competitive run timing of up to 45 mins. Been rather successful in my job.

Trained hard, worked even harder.

Slowly but surely I am working my way to "ordinary level".

Deep within, I don't feel empty but a sense of fulfillment.

5 months down the road, things are starting to work out, for me at least.

However, today, somehow I came across a photo of you and me. A lump formed in my throat and my eyes turned misty abit.

I realised one important thing. Yes I moved on, I am more successful now. I felt a sense of calm these days and my focus on my priorities in life have intensified.

But I never stop loving you, my love is still as strong.

The only thing I take comfort is that you are much happier with someone else.

Images of you strolling in bliss with your love one is enough to put a smile on my face.

With that, I move on to embark on my goals.

Triathlon that it is. Thanks to all who are there for me.

Moving On

My posts are never regular. For a reason. I wish the content to be reflective and to be an indication of my thoughts after through a period of time.

These days, I largely kept to myself and trained hard in sports and keeping to a strict diet as well.

I think I express myself better in sports. The more unhappy I am, the harder I train and the better I get, the more satisfied I become.

Being single is definitely a good time spent. My mind is clearer and I tend not to get clouded by emotions.

" To her : There are some things at the bottom of my heart which I think about all along. I don't hate you for all you have done cause I love you.

Silently, from my heart, I do miss you. Wondering how's life for you after 4 yrs.

I wish you all the best in your new relationship and may you find true happiness. "

Logical sense

Things died down somehow.... And I reflected.

I think in retrospect, I am vulnerable beyond logical sense. Taking time out, I ponder on the various situations and concluded that indeed I have been outplayed. Like how Barcelona will to dominate a game if they are in top form.

Henceforth, I decided to take flight and let things fall into place.

Meanwhile, it's back to the gym, hard running and more workout. Back to what keeps me happy in life.

Thanks to my friends who have shown me great support.

Thoughts

Once I was in a relationship, love her deeply.

3 yrs past, she left me. Many good and bad things happened during this period.

I was devastated.... Spent a long time recovering from the ordeal but my heart never left her.

Till I met another her.

She is sweet, really sweet. I tried hard to avoid her as I am nursing a wounded heart but she kept melting my heart and my defences.

I ended up falling for her and I saw a future with her. I love her alot but she chose someone else eventually.

My heart is really wounded... Though I am not a fan of self-pity, tears swelled in my eyes every now and then. Emotions kept building up within me.

As I take this lonely walk alone, I reflected on the past and can only remember the happy memories.

I just wish one day, come someone who really understand who I am and build upon a future with me.

Till then, it's a journey which I wish for some time alone.

The next step

Clearing my room... clearing her pictures is one of the painful decision in my life.

I did everything I could, tried everything I could think of but things just do not go the way it should be.

Tears flow, the heart ache... taking one last look, I breathe in hard and chuck the pictures of " us " away.

May the divine one bless me and let time heal my wounds.

The Truth

Slowly as things fall into place, I am starting to accept the hard truth. Painful as it is, I decide I have to pick myself up and move on. It's been far too long for this thing to drag on.

Pictures paint a thousand words

This picture pretty much sums up how I am feeling right now.